You think you’re a great communicator.
You can cast a vision. Rally a room. Get people on mission. But here’s the truth most leaders never face: you’re saying exactly what makes sense to you and it’s landing completely differently on the other end.
That gap isn’t a people problem. It’s a translation problem. And until you own it, your message will keep missing, no matter how loud you say it.
The Words You Use Are Not Neutral
Words carry energy. Not just meaning: energy. I was working with a client who kept saying she wanted to “feel seen” at work. She also wanted to “do her work behind the scenes.” To her, both things made sense. But when I mirrored them back, she realized she was asking for two things that contradicted each other.
We swapped “feel seen” for “feel appreciated”, and the entire conversation shifted. Same desire. Cleaner language. Suddenly she could actually ask for what she needed. The words you choose are the container for your intention. Choose wrong, and the message spills.
The Gap Is Your Responsibility. Not Theirs.
Leaders love to blame the audience when the message doesn’t land. “They just don’t get it.” But the false narrative is this: if your message is being misunderstood, the first question isn’t what’s wrong with them; it’s what am I not saying, and how can I say it differently?
The ego hates this question. It wants the other person to just understand. But the aligned leader asks it anyway. Because your job isn’t to be right. It’s to be received. That shift, from “why don’t they get it” to “how can I say this so they do”, that’s where real leadership begins.
Change the Word, Change the State
Another client kept saying a certain person “triggered” them. Every time that word came up, the energy in the room spiked. Reactive. Charged. Escalated. So we made one swap: “triggered” became “activated.”
Same situation. Same person. Same frustration. But “activated” acknowledged the peak state without the charge attached to “triggered.” And suddenly, they could move through it, clearly, deliberately, without the emotional spike hijacking the conversation. You’re not reacting anymore. You’re responding. That’s the difference between a leader and a reactor.
So What’s the Point?
Language is leadership. Fix the words, and you fix the dynamic.
Your Next EASIEST Step:
Pick one word you use often that carries a negative charge (“triggered,” “overwhelmed,” “stuck”) and swap it for something neutral or forward-leaning. Use the new word for one full week. Notice what shifts in your conversations, your energy, and the responses you get.
Alignment First. Progress Always.
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